52 weeks of not going in to work is over.
52 weeks of not having to sprint for the 7.37am train is over.
52 weeks of spending my every waking moment with my little prince is over.
52 weeks of tending to his every need on demand is actually over.
Maternity leave is done.
On the whole, because I knew that this time would come, it isn’t too much of a shock. But it is hard.
I had my Baby Bee two weeks into maternity and spent 99.99% of the remaining 50 weeks with him. We created an amazing mother-son bond and I cant imagine my world without him.
Except, now, I go large chunks of my day away from him. I’m at work while he’s at nursery, having what looks like an amazing time (I get pictures of him via a pretty cool app). I spend my time wondering whether he enjoyed his lunch, or whether his milk was the right temperature. I worry whether he cried before he fell asleep or if he’s hot and needs his jumper taken off.
I almost didn’t come back to work, but, (bad mother guilt starting to kick in) when I pick him up at 6.10pm and he smiles at me, I know I have done him no harm.
I have seen such growth in him, He is much more social, more vocal and it turns out he is the life of the small people party (in my eyes anyway). He makes pictures using glue and tissue paper. He interacts with other little people and he actually likes them.
6 weeks into being back at work and I’m getting over the guilt of coming back I’m not the first to do this and I definitely wont be the last.
How did you feel when you went back to work after maternity leave? Do you still feel those pangs of guilt?