Post trigger: My parents are moving house and so I spent yesterday going through some of my old stuff. I came across many many many old pictures of myself.
Progress is impossible without change & those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything
The last 16 months
(plus 9 months pregnancy) have been life changing for me. Everything has changed. Literally. Everything. In all honesty, I’m fully accepting of the fact that change is inevitable and is what makes every experience unique and individual. I’m happy with change and would probably be very miserable if nothing in my life changed. Change brought me my husband, my friends, my son, my job, my house. Change has brought me everything that I love.
What I’m not so comfortable with are the not so good things that change has brought into my little bubble. This post is about the additional weight that change has rudely introduced into my happy place.
I’ve always been ‘thick’ and I use this not as another word for overweight
because so many people do, but as a word to describe my proportions and where my fat is stored. Growing up, my ‘thickness’ always gave the illusion that I was bigger than my counterparts and so I’ve always wanted to lose ‘weight’ – even at times when I probably didn’t need to.
A little backstory: When I met my now husband, I was living at home with my parents. I was in full-time work – but still had alot of spare time – much of which was spent at the gym. We started to get serious and my spare time became our time. I still worked out, but not as much. We also ate out alot – much like any new couple. Fast forward a little, we got engaged and moved in together. At this point, I cancelled my gym membership, because I no longer lived near my gym. This is probably where my problem started
The 25-ish pounds that I’ve put on in the last 6 years have been gradual, but somehow I’ve become comfortable. My proportions have made me comfortable, because my fat is stored in an area where lots of people would love a little extra (thighs and bum). What was our spare time has become no spare time and although I love the feeling i get after a workout – I dont have the time to triggerthat emotion enough.
Taking a look at pictures at my parents house and seeing how much smaller I have been in the past has given me a kick. I used to be a size, that I recently though of as unattainable – but it obviously is – because I used to weigh exactly that. I get that after a child, my stomach will not be tight and stretch marks will not disappear – but I can be a weight that I am very happy and comfortable with.
So that’s what I am attempting to do. Right now – diet and intense exercise are not really an option, for reasons I’ll disclose later – but I will try to make healthier choices and burn extra calories wherever I can.
This post is my accountability post. I can be happy with my body. I can be comfortable in my own skin.
And I will be